3rd May 2013: Tug of War!

by Sarah on 03/05/2013


Tug of war time! Which side are you on?


Sarah Varcas

There’s a powerful tug of war taking place at the moment, manifesting on many different levels. With the future at one end and the past at the other, we may find ourselves stuck in the middle, feeling like we’re being ripped apart as we try to battle these two apparently opposing forces in our lives. Of course, we have always been ‘stuck’ between past and future, it’s where we live our lives and we call it the present, although it often feels like anything but a gift! Much of the time we’re doing anything we can to escape it… dwelling on past hurts or hankering for lost pleasures, worrying about the future, hoping for a better one or fearing that what we have now will be lost to us over time. It’s a rare moment that we actually exist fully in the present, appreciating what this moment brings us, even though this moment is, in fact, the only thing we can guarantee to have at any one moment in time.

But in recent weeks this tug of war has stepped up a pace. Have you felt it? Do you see it happening around you? We are at a Choice Point now, a fork in the road, and there are decisions and commitments to be made. We could stick our heels into the mud and insist on doing things the same way we always have, adopting the usual old habits of thought and behaviour, identifying with the same old bits of ourselves and our past, using them as excuses for how we live the present. Or we can decide enough is enough and make a different choice right now, giving birth to a brighter and freer future. We can decide to rewire our brains, our physiology, our spirit, and allow a whole new expression of who we are to come forth.

With the North Node and Saturn currently in Scorpio, we are both fascinated with and terrified of this process! We want it. We yearn for change, liberation, freedom and yet the fear of ‘what if’ holds us back. ‘What if I discover I can’t follow through on this dream I have after all?’. ‘What if I fail and prove the nay-sayers right after all?!’. ‘What if I’ve got it all completely wrong and this moment of inspiration is really a moment of madness that could derail my life forever?’. We can find so many reasons not to change and do things differently, even when doing them the same old way causes us on-going pain. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t, right?!

Wrong!! These days we must be prepared to meet a new devil if that’s what it’s going to take to change us. There are no guarantees, and if we’re waiting to find the fool-proof way to navigate a route through this time of evolution and awakening we’re going to miss the boat! We have to be prepared to make mistakes, trip and stumble as we walk a new path with our eyes only now adjusting to the light. We’re children again, learning to walk, talk and make sense of the world around us. We don’t have to get it all right first time, but we do have to take some risks otherwise we’ll just remain in our pram or play-pen, safe but unstimulated and suppressed, unable to allow the life force to lead us onward because we decided we knew better and chose the safer option!

The fact of the matter is, there is no ‘safer option’ these days. Sticking with the old when you know deep down it’s met its end…. there’s no safety in that, only stagnation. Stepping into the new because you know it’s calling you even though you can’t see round the next corner…there’s no safety in that either, because anything could happen! So the choice we have to make is one of faith rather than certainty: Do we have the faith to step into the unknown and embrace what awaits us there, or not? It’s a simple enough question, but we can really over-complicate the answer if we want to!

So for today let’s just keep it simple: do we have faith or not? Yes or no? It’s time to decide and then act, or not, depending on our answer…


Sarah Varcas



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