25th September 2013: Cosmic Relationship Counselling

by Sarah Varcas on 25/09/2013

 

Relating with Ease

By

Sarah Varcas

 
Today we are encouraged to continue with our search for a lighter side to life, specifically in the realm of relationships. It can be all too easy to assume that growth in this area of our lives only occurs from deep and penetrating healing, which uncovers all manner of wounds and issues in the process. Relationships can feel like extremely hard work when they’re problematic and we may sometimes risk making them even harder work in our efforts to solve the perceived problems. Whilst it’s certainly true that our connections to other people often trigger the deepest and most intransigent issues in our psyche, it’s also true that sometimes we may over-egg the pudding in that respect!

So today we’re invited to step out of the mind-set which says it all has to be hard work and old wounds must be raked over in order for forward motion to occur, into one that enables a lightness of heart and spirit which can reveal a fresh perspective without the blood, sweat and tears we were anticipating. This shift isn’t about a miraculous moment where everything is healed and we live happily ever after, but a willingness to look through fresh eyes, from a different angle, in order to recognise what we may be missing in our blinkered focus upon the problems. In doing so we may perceive new possibilities for ourselves and those with whom we are connected. Perhaps we have missed an obvious route to understanding and peace. Maybe we are expecting too much from everyone involved, assuming that the perfect relationship is our birth right when the one we have is, in human, imperfect terms, not all bad by a long chalk. Perhaps all the talk of soul mates and the existence of our perfect other has influenced our perception of relationship in ways not conducive to the practicalities of everyday life shared with another flawed and imperfect human being.

Sometimes, if we want a relationship to work we just have to be prepared to let it be what it is and make the best of it. And if we don’t want what it is we just have to walk away. Not always, of course. Sometimes the work needs to be done and it’s part of our path, but it can be easy, in this day and age, to assume that every relationship needs to be a hot bed of healing, insight and ascension, when in fact its purpose in our life may be to keep us grounded and in touch with the flawed and frustrating aspects of the human realm, in which the ‘perfect’ other does not exist, for ourselves or those we’re in relationship with.

Maybe it doesn’t sound much like a ‘lighter side’, but more a doom laden message of eternal relationship dissatisfaction, but it isn’t. Because if we can accept our relationships for what they are and then decide, given what they are, whether we do in fact want them or not, we can act with greater clarity of purpose in that area of our lives. If we want to share our life with someone we can be more accepting of the parts of them which we don’t want around, just as we can be more accepting of the aspects in ourselves which make relating a challenge. We can release ourselves from the need to make everything right, to shape our relationship to fit an ideal and just live it for what it is. Doing so can be the greatest act of love we may ever undertake, because acceptance of imperfection and continuing to love none the less is one of the most healing forces in the universe.

It’s not without reason that the heavens highlight such issues at this time. Next month we enter an eclipse season prior to the next Uranus/Pluto square at the beginning of November. How we manage our connections with others is an important part of the landscape throughout this phase. If we’re expending energy trying to forge the ‘perfect’ connection when the potential for such a thing is not present at this time, we will be wasting energy best used elsewhere. And if we fail to capitalise upon the positive aspects of our relationships, instead dwelling on the parts which still do not work in the way we believe they should, we could be denying ourselves the support of an ally and the nourishment of a connection which, whilst not perfect, may in fact be exactly what we need anyway, to keep us grounded and in touch with the truths of life in the human realm.

So if we find ourselves being drawn into the analysis and deconstruction of relationship dynamics today, it’s a good time to stop for a moment, step back, remember that we’re all imperfect beings stumbling through life as best we can, and then seek the brighter side of the situation. And if there isn’t one, then that too is a message, and one of which we would be wise to take note!

Love to everyone, in all our perfect imperfections!

Sarah Varcas

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